Mammogram

The day of the mammogram:



I walk in after another three days of waiting hell. The mammogram technician was very nice and assured me she would do her best to rule out anything that didn't seem to be of importance.



She took the films she needed and said they had to be reviewed by the radiologist and would be back in a few minutes.



After about 10 minutes she came back in and said she needed a few more views...panic started to set in...I could feel it in my throat.



About 10 minutes later she came back into the room and said, "The Dr. wants you to go ahead and have the ultrasound...he didn't like one of the sites on the mammogram." I said, "I figured you were going to say that..."



Already trying to prepare my mind to hear "You Have Cancer" I sat in the lab with John and Jake (my step-son) and my sister Mary (she works in the lab). John and Mary were trying to reassure me that it's "routine" and they are just trying to rule out everything.



The nurse came in and took me to ultrasound...of course I was alone...no one was allowed in the ultrasound room with me. The ultrasound tech was very polite and talked to me while she was performing the test to keep me cool. When she was done getting all her views she said, "I need to get the Dr. so he can take a look." Well....I thought...if it's "nothing" why does the Dr. need to come in for a "look"???? I started to breathe a bit heavier...but tried to remain calm. The Dr. came in and started moving the wand around on my left breast. In a monotone voice...quite matter-of-factly said, "Do you see that??" There was a "black blob...with little dots inside it." I said, "Yes, I see that." He said, "Those are what we call "microcalcifications"... and that is an indication that you have CANCER...... All I could say is, "Alright, what's next?" The Dr. paused for a minute and said, "Usually when I tell a woman she may have cancer she starts to cry. I am sort of surprised by your reaction." I told the Dr., "I was fully expecting you to tell me I have cancer...so now what do we do?!?" He said, "Well, you need to have a biopsy. You can either schedule it or if you want we can do it today since we don't have anyone else scheduled." NOT A HARD DECISION!! DO IT NOW!! So I told the Dr. I wanted to do it now. He agreed and asked me if I had any requests? I asked if my fiance` could be with me. He said that was a strange request, but if that's what I wanted he was alright with it. Really? Is it such a strange request to have a loved one in the room while I go through such a traumatic thing? I didn't think so and really didn't care if the Dr. did.

As I waited for the room to be set up for the biopsy I walked back down the "hall of doom" toward the lab. I could see John and Mary standing there waiting for me with smiles on their faces as if they were expecting me to tell them "All is well." The only thing I could do was shake my head no. I walked to the bathroom and started to cry....but just for a minute. I walked out and hugged John and told him what the Dr. said. I think John started to cry...and then he said, "It's not certain yet...it could still be a cyst."

The nurse came back and walked us to the biopsy room. The Dr. pointed out the "microcalcifications" to John and explained the biopsy as he prepared each step. The biopsy didn't last that long...and it wasn't all too painful. The Dr. said it would take up to 48 hours to get the results and they would call me with them.

Now...another few days of waiting...