Date with the Surgeon and the Oncologist

We met with the surgeon first...and he and his "resident"...who by the way was about 12 years old, came in and shook our hands. Dr. introduced the "kid" as Dr...I don't remember and said he's a resident and was going to observe the office visit today.

Who cares. A 12 year old boy is going to see my naked boobies and look at the scars. What ever. (LOL)

The Dr. asked me how I was feeling and how the sites were feeling. I told him they felt fine. Very little tenderness left. He examined me and little "Mr. Doogie Howser" (which is what I dubbed him when he walked in) was doing his best to look over the Dr.'s shoulder to see what was going on. Dr. said that everything looked very nice and then asked me who I had talked to or seen since my last visit with him.

I said, "No one yet. I have an appointment at the Oncologist's office after we leave here." He said, "OK, then I will need to know what she says so we can determine if you are going to have another surgery or not."

I asked him if he could tell me what the Stage and Grade of the cancer was. He looked at me, smiled and said...talk to the Oncologist and she will give you all that information. Come and see me when you are done and let me know what she says.

Grrrrrrr.... :) OK.

Sitting in the PACKED waiting area waiting to be called into the Oncologist office. There are several Dr.'s within that area and there wasn't even a place to sit in the waiting room for a while.

After about 20 minutes of waiting they called my name and John and I went into the room. The Nurse Practicioner, Diane, came in first. She is a very respectful woman and she is full of knowledge. She sat down and asked me how I was doing. We had a few moments of small talk and then she asked if we were ready to hear the news. We said yes and she began.

She said, "Well, you will have to have CHEMO and it's the NASTY STUFF. You WILL LOSE YOUR HAIR." I think at that point my heart stopped for a second. It wasn't that I didn't already know that...and I thought I was totally prepared to hear her say that...BUT! BUT! BUT! Now, it's confirmed. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. I was blinking a lot and trying not to cry. As she was still talking it seemed as if she was in the back ground somewhere because all I could hear was myself saying, "Why are you going to cry you big baby. You already knew that you were going to lose your hair if they said you have to have Chemo."

So as I sat there blinking my eyes, the tears never fell. Wheeewww. I cleared my mind and started listening to her again. She was still talking about the Chemotherapy and what drugs are used. She was telling me some of the side affects such as the beds of my fingernails and toes may turn purple...OK. Then she said, "Your tongue may also change colors." WHAT?!?!? My tongue? What color? She chuckled and said, "Purple."

I was thinking...."OMG!!! I am going to be this big ugly lady with a bald head and purple tongue, fingers and toes." What a circus show I am going to be.

As she was talking I asked her if she could tell me about the Stage and the Grade of the cancer. She said, "Well, you are Stage 2. What that means is...your tumor was bigger than 1 cm. If it were less than 1 cm you would be stage 1. You did not have any lymphnode involvement which means it hasn't spread. Stage 3 and 4 would mean that the cancer had spread to other areas of the body."

So...needless to say at this point there was a smile on my face. :) I started to ask about the Grade again and the Dr. walked in. She and Diane talked about what had already been talked about and then the Dr. started to tell me about the different Grades of cancer. She said, "Your cancer is Grade 3." I said, "Oh great! The worst Grade I could have!!!" She said, well although it is the most aggressive Grade, there are things we can do and we will talk about them."

So she started to go over my chart. As she was looking at it, I said, "Dr. wants to know what you think about the margins. He said he feels they will need to be expanded." She looked at them for a moment and said, "Yes, I agree. You will need to have another surgery to expand the margins before we can start your treatment. The tissue they took came back clean, but the clear margin was very small and I am not comfortable with it." (Uhhhh another surgery...)

I said, "Another surgery and Grade 3 cancer...just my luck." She said, "Let me explain something to you. If you left here today without any further treatment (surgery, chemo and radiation), your chance of recurrence is about 40%. If you do everything I tell you, your chance of recurrence drops to about 10%. She said the Chemotherapy is 6 cycles each 3 weeks apart (for a total of 18 weeks) and when the Chemo is over we will do Radiation.

Soooooo....let's see......40% with hair.........10% without.........WHO NEEDS HAIR? Not me! Let's do this!!!

We talked for about 10 more minutes about the treatment and a clinical trial that I may be a part of and then we left. John and I were both very happy at least knowing what the next step is.

We went back to the surgeon's office and talked to his nurse. About 10 minutes later she came back into the room and said, "Your next surgery is scheduled for June 14th." Wow!! I already have a surgery date too! Wooo hooo! Now that's what I call service.

So, everyone. Right now, you know what we know. Surgery will be June 14th with Chemotherapy to follow about 2-3 weeks later. No one is ever prepared for this...but I believe I am as mentally prepared as I can be. I also know that when my hair starts to fall out...OFF IT COMES! The most important thing we have to do is REMAIN IN CONTROL!

One last thing. I know several posts ago I said I had Stage 3 Cancer. I put that in there and left it for a reason. When I got "The Call" telling me I had cancer, that is exactly what that nurse told me. She said it was Stage 3. So I sat here...all this time, thinking that before long it would be Stage 4 and near the end of the game. I then did some research and learned the differences in the Stages of Cancer and when I found out there was no cancer in the lymphnodes, I was almost certain I was Stage 2. I never corrected it...and I never will. We as "normal people" need to understand that just because 1 person tells you something, doesn't mean it is so. She was wrong. And come to find out, a lot of things prior to my fiding my way to Rush have been wrong. Never take one person's word for gospel...and if it doesn't feel right, chances are it's not.

We all have the right to know what is happening with ourselves...never be too afraid to ask. If you don't like the answer...never be too afraid to get a second opinion.

Until we meet again my friends............. <3